or a really cheesy country music song. For the first time in a long time I have nothing to write about because I have no crisis or upset. Life is just life. Give or take a few wrinkles of course.
I’m loved, I love. My sons are both well and thriving. No major family issues with the folks. I’m just loving the life I’m living. I think I’ve settled into my own skin finally.
If my life were a song Julie Andrews would be singing about hilltops and kittens and warm fuzzy feelings. The shocker?
I’m admitting it here: I’m a little freaked out over it all. In my 46 years there haven’t been that many peaceful ones and it spooks me to be content and almost issue free. I say almost because I’m mourning the loss of my closest friend. He’s still among the living, just not in my circles anymore and that sucks. All over an apology neither of us will give but both of us probably need to have. I know that’s all it would take yet I also need to hear one myself and I don’t think I will. So while I’m not wearing black or writing dirges, I am very sad and a little lost over it all.
And even more confused by this calmness is my world. I guess I’m so good at upheaval and getting through the tough stuff that I forgot how life was without it. I’m thinking I’ll adjust just fine though, one I get used to this.
As usual I’m enjoying the count down to Halloween. I like Halloween. I love the little kids in costumes, the almost big kids pretending they’re only trick or treating as a lark and not because they aren’t quite ready to give up their little kid days.
I love the pumpkins on my porch waiting to be carved. Two of them are mine, I’m not ready to carve yet though. I’m not sure what I’ll do them as.
I like the decorations in the yards and the excitement in my friend’s kids voices as they tell me what they’re going to be. I know they only called to get a heads up on my candy so they don’t waste a trip over for something lame like granola bars or pencils. As if I’d ever do that. Halloween is about kids and candy, not PC and good for you snacks. Halloween is about running ahead of your parents to get to the next house, it’s about fighting over who gets to ring the doorbell and then being to shy to speak when it’s opened. It’s about stopping halkfway down that driveway to see what you got in your bag. It’s about Moms and Dads saying “wait for us” and “no candy until we get home”. Halloween is about kids and candy and costumes.
I remember trick or treating, we’d plan for weeks what we would be. No store bought costumes in my neighborhood. Our parents knew that creating the costume was almost as much fun as trick or treating itself. The costumes I remember most were the ones I worked the hardest on. The year I was a miner. Not sure why I was a miner but my nieghbor’s dad brought me home an extra helmet from work and we kids managed to put a flashlight on it and cover it in foil. That year my brother was a rock. Funny how I remember that. He made his costume out of a grey garbage bag and three tomato cages. He didn’t really look like a rock but he was bigger than me so I never told him. Today costumes are judged for realism and cost an arm and a leg but in my childhood days we earned our candy corn and Mary Janes by putting together something to wear door to door. And we counted and rationed each candy corn and and BitOHoney and crappy lollypop with the string handle. A good rationer could make that candy last for weeks. A greedy child could have it gone by the next weekend. Halloween was a big deal and we looked forward to it and remembered it fondly afterwards. Msybe that’s why I’m looking forward to my doorbell ringing this weekend and seeing the little faces saying “trick or treat” or maybe it’s just that my life has hit a point where I’m enjoying all these things. Either way, I’m ready for Halloween. I have my candy, no Bit O Honeys here.. we have Snickers, M&Ms, and Twix. I have my decorations up and tomorrow night I’ll have my pumpkins carves and ready to light up. Life really is good, go figure huh?