3 Comments

movers and shakers

my neighbor’s in for a surprise today. Not sure if it’s him or her that’ll get this unexpected news, or even if it’s unexpected but it’s a done deal. Today from my vantage point in the garage where I was workng, I watched a moving van back up and into the driveway of the house across the street. It was followed by two pick ups and a car. They proceeded quite quickly to fill the van with furniture and other items from the house and just as quikcly left. I’m guessing either a well organized burglers or a divorce to be. Either way, when someone gets home later today, they aren’t going to be having a banner day. Maybe they’ll be relieved or maybe they’ll head right back out to where ever they were but my guess is they won’t be happy.

I have a friend who celebrated the end of her marriage. I never understood that. Whether you have kids or not and regardless of the duration of the marriage, how do you celebrate the end of something you went into with eyes open and heart full of love? Even if the marriage was a bad one or a horrific one filled with abuse and hatred, there’s still a loss of hope.
Even when you know your relationship is bad and you try to patch it and give it CPR, you have that bit of hope that it might be fixed and work out.
No one goes into a marriage looking forward to the divorce. I know someone will tell me I’m wrong and that there are those people who think marriage is a good career goal but for the majority of us regular folks marriage is a day dream. You go into it with a vision of happily ever after and even when you realize it’s over and you’re looking forward to writing your next chapter you feel a little sad at the end of one dream.
My guess is that someone across the street from me is going to feel that sadness this afternoon. I feel sad for them, been there, felt that.
I guess it’d be wrong to hope they’ve been robbed instead?

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3 comments on “movers and shakers

  1. Maybe a party or a ceremony is needed for some people to close the circle. I found your statement about loss of hope at the end of a relationship profound.

  2. Your neighbor is in for a bad day. I don’t wish that kind of emotional torment on anyone and you’re right. Having a party to celebrate the end of something that was once a source of happiness is odd. But everyone deals with loss differently.

  3. I have only been to one End of Marriage dinner party and it was a long time ago. But I remember the event with crystal clarity. The divorcing couple sat on opposite sides of the dinner table and made a very civilised speech to each other, in front of their closest friends. They said “many thanks for the great years”, “really sorry about the bad years”, “I wish you success in your future”… all decent caring stuff.

    I suppose you wouldn’t do this if the ex was a drinking, gambling, whoring, violent arsehole. But if the couple are both good people who tried the best they could but still failed, it gives the divorce a certain dignity.

    Hels

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