I’ve been thinking about marriage. Not because I plan to walk the aisle of doom any time soon, but because I am watching a marriage trifecta unfold in the lives around me.
One soon to be wed couple, one soon to divorce couple, and one married almost sixty eight years couple. The beginning, the middle, the end.
I’ve been married before. It didn’t take too well. I was all in but unfortunately my husband was all in too, just in someone else’s arms. I had a problem with that.
But that was over twenty years ago and I like to think I’ve healed up nicely.
And I have. I’m still a big fan of marriage. I tear up as the bride and groom say “I do” and I am always sad to hear of a marriage on it’s last legs. I don’t think marriage is a necessity or a automatic ‘get out of hell free’ card. I think it’s an honor and a privilege to love someone so much that you want to pledge all you are to them for your forevers.
People say marriage is only a piece of paper and not important but I think it is.
We have so little in life that’s really truly our’s. Our name, our word, our lives and to give someone your’s as a sign of your love is special. To pledge to wake up each day together and face what happens side by side and to end each day face to face is the best bond of all. It isn’t the ceremony that matters. Although some people need to have those ribbons and bells and $2,000 wedding cakes, others opt for a few words in Vegas before their favorite Elvis impersonator or a quiet beach at sunset surrounded by their family and friends. It isn’t what you wear or how many groom’s men and bride’s maids you have.
It’s making that vow to face life hand in hand and see each other through it all. That’s what’s important.
Next month I’ll watch two people, I once held as babies, commit to each other and I’ll cry. I’ll also lend my shoulder and my ears to two dear friends whose roads are now going to be separate after twenty years together and yes, I’ll cry then too. And then I’ll celebrate with an Aunt and Uncle as they savor the past sixty eight years of life they’ve shared. Big surprise.. I’ll cry.
I’ll look through photo albums and see each step they took. I’ll meet their newest great grandchildren and even one great great grandchild. And I’ll think about the vows they took when they told each other they’d be there no matter what. It’s more than a piece of paper and a ceremony. It’s a giving of all you are and meaning it. It’s trying your hardest to make it work and being able to pull it off. It’s a beautiful thing when it works and I’d like to think most couples go into it with plans for forever. Not all make it and that’s sad but some make it all the way and that gives hope to those starting out. It doesn’t matter how you make the promise, it only matters that you make it with the best of intentions. Maybe some don’t make it but many do and I think that’s pretty amazing. I hope the wedding I attend is one of the ones that lasts forever.