that’s a fun word. sometimes I think my life’s a snow globe. Every time the haze clears and I can see clearly…someone (usually me) comes along and gives it a good shaking. As I pack to move and at the same time face an uncertainty and probable heart reshaking soon to come, discombobulated is a good word for me.
There are a few constants though.. my faith, my sons, the fact that no matter how much pain my day holds the next morning I awake with hope.. and a new blessing too. My granddaughter. I promised an update and here it is:
She is an amazing child. It’s a whole new kind of love and one I’m grateful to feel. That she adores me in return is a blessing as well. I get to spend a bit of time with her now, a couple days a week while her Dad’s at work and her Mom’s in class..
A bonus blessing because someday soon she and her parents will be moving off, setting their own family path and making their own family traditions but until then, I’ll take the time I get to spend with her. She’s made it past her first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, and recently her Christening.
These milestones don’t mean much to her. If she can’t put it in her mouth she really has no use for anything. The rest of us consider every “first” a photo op. I can’t say I’m the guiltiest party, she has a Grandpa Tom who may eclipse me in the photo taking category. He and I joke about it every Monday morning when she comes to spend the day with me. He and I threaten to arm wrestle for the right to take her to our favorite local places like the science center and toy HOF. I have a feeling those outings will be shared because her parents aren’t willing to let us fight over them.
She’s a magical child with special powers. She nicens up Uncle Trevor, coaxes smiles out of him and makes him do things like use baby talk and buy stuffed animals. No matter how broken I feel, she heals me with a smile and a gurgle. She makes the little things seem big and the big things seem not so huge. She heals family wounds like the ones between her Father’s Father and her Great Uncle. She gives exes common ground and a reason to smile and laugh without past anger and resentments. She is amazing. Such a tiny little thing yet such a huge part of our lives.
This Grandma gig isn’t so bad, I can’t remember why I was dreading it. And I’m counting my blessing and my special times with her before it’s time for her life to go on and mine to branch off. She’s an amazing child, I can’t imagine the world without her and we so have a few more firsts to share…it’s almost Easter time after all and then Baby’s First Yankee’s game 🙂
I know my writing’s rusty, I’ve been away from it for a bit so it’ll take me some time to regain my footing. please bear with me.