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spare change

not the kind of change you’re thinking about although I have added quite a bit of that kind to my granddaughter’s piggy bank. The first thing I did when I found out I was a gramma-to-be  (and once the buzzing in my head stopped and I’d talked it over with a good egg) was buy a piggy bank with remove able cork. Believe it or not none of the new ones come with corks, it’s a plastic stopper now. I had to search high and low to find a cork for her piggy. It just seems like they should have them. I’m sure the plastic stoppers are cheaper to make though.

I put the piggy on the bookcase right by the front door and we all throw our spare change in it. It adds up quickly, piggy’s been emptied twice now and all the money from her will go into an savings account/ cert. for her future. Hopefully college, possibly not, she’ll live it as she goes and make her own choices in time. She’s not even born yet but a pre-gramma can daydream 🙂

edob is 56.5 days away….not that I’m counting 

The change I’m talking about is a little pattern I have when I hit speed bumps in life. I’m not going to do anything about it, it’s not important enough.

I have been working hard on two other things: cutting out cursing and stopping interupting people when they talk. One of my spare kids does it and I’m trying to get him to stop…not good if the teacher does it too. I’ve pulled in the big guns to help me, I’ve asked them to please tell me when I do it. It’s the only way I’ll stop. Neither son has any problem chastising me. They’ve gotten quite creative with it. Yesterday my older one told me “this is a one way conversation right now Mom”. 

 

We were picking up more paint. I’m painting my bedroom. It’s looking pretty good if I say so myself, and I do. 

When something in my life changes and I’m living on, I tend to change something with it. That’s the little pattern I was talking about. I had my ears pierced a second time after a divorce <bad move>, gone way too blond <super bad move> over another divorce (yup, that’s two… life happens), even cut off/grew out my hair over breakups, but this time I decided to just repaint my bedroom.

It’s been a hell of a year and I kind of like my hair long. So I’ve sanded and patched and spackled and now all I have left is one wall. It’s drying now and then I’m painting it.

What a difference. It went from drab fingerprinty walls, with thumbtacks and scuff marks to soothing and clean. And my mind’s done the same.  I was heading into a self induced funk over my sons. The one I’m pushing out of the nest with both feet on his butt and the one who is appx. 56.5 away from going from ‘son’ to ‘Dad’. That’s the biggie.

He’ll always be ‘son’ but Dad will be first as it should be. Once he becomes Dad we hit the last step in our relationship. We’re both going to be adults and parents. We’ll share a new bond. I love this kid. Hyperactive little frustrating charmer that he was.  And I can’t stop myself from having little memories come to mind.  Those get to me a little. I’m sure someone’s thinking “then don’t think about it” but I can’t.  It’s not in my nature to be able to stop, it’s part of my process. I’m lucky enough that they want me involved and they ask my opinions. They’re sharing this with us and I’m glad. It feels good to be included and I know that the little mind burps go along with it. When they chose their baby book, my mind flashed to the first time I wrote in his. So I’m fighting the self-induced funk and painting my room.

I knew this semifunk I’m heading into is common, maybe even expected but I’m not in a wallowing mood so I decided to accomplish something. If I’m going to think anyway, might as well get something done.  My room looks good. It’s been a lot of work but that was on purpose. I needed to make somekind of change and it’s working fine. Saves me a hair cut. Although the dog and I have both gotten trims. The end of my pony tail and the end of her doggy tail. She painted my dresser and bedtable before I caught up to her. 

I did find some spare change and I put it in baby’s piggy. She may have been a surprise but already she has a family who loves her. I’ve even caught the boy stuffing folded bills into her piggy, but I didn’t tell him I saw.

I’m off to paint my last wall. Like my room, one by one the sides of my life have changed. And with the big one coming a fresh coat of paint makes a difference and along with the change will come a whole new type of joy.  

And to keep my busy, I’m going to stencil a garden onto one wall. I have a feeling I’m going to need busy work every once in a while. I still have 56.5 days 😀

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