A good friend of mine just told me I’m too realistic. I’m not exactly sure what she meant. I considered calling her back and asking but I’m afraid I won’t like what she says.
We were discussing her marriage and it’s weakening state and I know I’m not the right person to give relationship advice since my track record speaks for itself but she asked and I answered. I don’t think she liked my answer and that may be why she snapped at me and said “your problem is you’re too realistic”.
I know I have lots of problems: insecurity, a deep need to be told that I matter every once in a while, a sarcastic tongue, I tend to read a lot, and I’m pretty laid back and lazy. I could list all my faults but it might put me into a funk so I won’t. I just never saw being too realistic as one of my problems.
I think she asked me for my opinion on the state of her marriage and whether it could be repaired because she thought I’d say what she wanted to hear. I’m not smart enough to figure out when people do that. Ask without really wanting an answer. I tend to do the opposite, I don’t ask because I don’t want to hear the answer.
I wasn’t going to lie to her, she’s my friend. If she’d asked and kept on talking I’d have figured she was just blowing steam but she stopped and waited for an answer. So I gave it and she replied.
She hurt my feelings with her comment and now I’m sitting here thinking about it. Obsessing I guess but that’s who I am.
I guess I am realistic. Only because daydreaming tends to end up poorly for me and I get tired of being let down. I’d rather face life head on and live it than hide from the realities of it. Life is tough enough, hiding from problems only makes it worse.
I don’t predict good things for my friend. I’m actually more her husband’s friend but I like her and she and I have been friends for a couple years now. I hope she starts to see what can happen and she gets a bit more realistic. It’d be a shame for her to lose what she has.
I know now that she wanted me to tell her she was 100% right and her husband was 100% wrong. I didn’t do that and I think it hurt her so she hurt me back. She succeeded and it sucked.
but if she asked me again I’d probably answer the same way. Maybe I am too realistic.