and does Hallmark sell cards for it?
I hate Mother’s Day. I wasn’t raised by a sit-com Mom. My Mom didn’t make me cookies and teach me how to shave my legs. We didn’t have Mother/Daughter shopping trips or days at the hairdressers. A really good Mother’s Day was one where she wasn’t there.
Please understand that I’m talking about the Mom I had then, not the one I have now. Two seperate people. Just in the same body. Untreated mental illness is hell. Not just for the person with it, also for their families. The Mother I have now isn’t the one I had then but there’s still enough of the old one in her for me to keep my distance. The only reason I can come to grips with it is my faith in God tells me I have to let it go. I won’t forget and trust me…there are no notes of love sent from me to her. God’s okay with that, he tells me to turn the other cheek and I do, by letting it go. God doesn’t expect me to place my turned cheek within kicking range and I don’t.
I refuse to celebrate what she wasn’t. Which is why I hate Mother’s Day. Every store front in the mall is a guilt trip for those of us who don’t love good old Mom. We cringe when asked what we’ve gotten her. I’ve learned to say “just the usual” and smile. I’ve learned to see the humor in it all but then today hits. It kind of makes Mother’s day a down day when you know the Mother you have isn’t worth the price of a stamp. I pretty sure my Brother puts my name on the card but no one’s fooled.
I know I’m not the only person out there who views Mother’s Day from jaded eyes. We’re not alone, there’re quite a few who don’t reach for the phone or send Mom a dozen flowers and a ‘World’s Greatest Mom’ t-shirt. Mother’s Day has always been iffy for me.
But I’m lucky in a sense, maybe I don’t celebrate my Mother but my children celebrate me. That’s pretty cool 🙂 This year I have the inside scoop on my gifts too. I just happened to be in Barnes & Noble with my sons and we pretended I didn’t pick out two books I really want and leave then sitting on a table. If they picked them up, well maybe they wanted to read them? One’s being reserved for my plane trip, the other’s fair game (odds are I’ll be reading it by 9pm). Then we pretended they weren’t standing in line behind me holding said books. I, of course, had to buy a tide me over until Mother’s Day book. It’s cruel and inhuman to let me go in a book store and not buy a book.
I am pretty jazzed about the books but the trip to the mall was really my gift. The three of us, and Katie, joking, talking.. it was wonderful. It may not happen again so I’m savoring it still. I’m a lucky woman and a blessed Mom. It balances today out a little.
an off shoot:
one of the best Mother’s Day’s gifts I’ve ever gotten was the first year I was a solo Mom to Burg. I got flowers and I had no idea who’d sent them. Then I read the card, which I still have, and it was from my then soon to be ex mother-in-law. She told me that I would always have a special place in their family because I was Burg’s Mother. She said thank you for bringing him into the world for them to love.
In August I’m going to become a Grandmother to a Granddaughter. I took a leaf from my exMother-in-law’s book and got Katie a gift and a card for the Mother-to-be. She will always have a special place in our family for bringing her daughter into the world for us to love.