Floormodel’s Weblog

March 22, 2009

a penny for my thoughts

Filed under: 1 — floormodel @ 10:35pm03

 

in for a penny, in for a pound…. putting in my two cents… spend a penny, spend a pound…the penny drops

 

 

I miss pennies. Not that they’ve gone missing but because they don’t matter any more. Pretty soon pennies will be gone completely. Nothing costs a penny anymore and people just throw them away as if they don’t matter. The parking lots at grocery stores are littered with them, no one picks them up or makes a wish. We just step over them like they’re trash. If you save them, roll them up, and turn them in to your bank you get looked at funny. I know, I’ve tried. No one likes the sound of change jingle jangling in their pockets, it’s easier to carry a card to swipe through a scanner. It eliminates the need to count change or figure out sale’s tax. It’s quicker and quieter to avoid loose change. Machines still take quarters although they seem to prefer dollars.  And pennies have fallen by the wayside.

When I was growing up pennies mattered. My parents were afraid of debt. They’d grown up pinching pennies and they stressed it to us. I’d probably still be grounded if they’d seen me throw one out. We kids saved them up. In the summer we’d all walk up to the Mole’s and spend our money. He sold wonderful things like Coke in glass bottles for a quarter, comic books for fifty cents, and things like sour gum and snappers to scare and delight our friends with. He sold bait in a cooler right next to a freezer full of Popsicles, Fudgesicles, and Dreamsicles. He had coffee, maps, and other things our parents might send us up for but his biggest business, I would imagine, was his wall of penny candy. He had a stack of plastic cups and we would take one and fill it up with penny candies. Atomic fire balls, root-beer barrels, BB Bats ..I like the banana ones. Charm pops, candy rings and bracelets, bubble gum with comics wrapped around each piece. We could have caramels and lemon drops, licorice laces and peppermints. He sold Pixie sticks, sour balls, and those long strips of taffy in wax paper. As long as we had the pennies, he had the candy.

We’d each stand there and make our selections, these were important choices we knew how many pennies we had. And then we’d hand our cup to him to turn over and count out on the  big wooden shelf. He’d add them up one by one on his cash register and after we paid he’d put our bounty in a small white paper bag and we’d head back out into the sun to  make the walk back home. That candy could last the whole day, maybe two if we were patient. I never was though. My brother was and he’d deliberately eat the ones he knew I liked first so I wouldn’t beg anything off him at the end of the day.  

 

I can still buy those candies on line, but not for a penny or even a dime. I still have my comic books from the Mole’s and I still have some pennies but nothing costs a penny anymore, pennies just don’t matter. We throw them out or give them up, or like me save them in a big glass water bottle. Pretty soon they’ll go away and our grandchildren will be fascinated to hear they ever existed but I’ll have my memories of  penny candy and making that trek on a warm Sunday morning down to the Mole’s with my pennies in hand and back home again with my bagful of candies and even though the candy doesn’t leave a sweet taste in my mouth now, the memories are always going to be sweet in my mind.

March 15, 2009

discombobulated

Filed under: 1 — floormodel @ 10:35pm03

 

 

that’s a fun word. sometimes I think my life’s a snow globe. Every time the haze clears and I can see clearly…someone (usually me) comes along and gives it a good shaking. As I pack to move and at the same time face an uncertainty and probable heart reshaking soon to come, discombobulated is a good word for me.
There are a few constants though.. my faith, my sons, the fact that no matter how much pain my day holds the next morning I awake with hope.. and a new blessing too. My granddaughter. I promised an update and here it is:
 
She is an amazing child. It’s a whole new kind of love and one I’m grateful to feel. That she adores me in return is a blessing as well. I get to spend a bit of time with her now, a couple days a week while her Dad’s at work and her Mom’s in class..
A bonus blessing because someday soon she and her parents will be moving off, setting their own family path and making their own family traditions but until then, I’ll take the time I get to spend with her. She’s made it past her first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, and recently her Christening.
These milestones don’t mean much to her. If she can’t put it in her mouth she really has no use for anything. The rest of us consider every “first” a photo op. I can’t say I’m the guiltiest party, she has a Grandpa Tom who may eclipse me in the photo taking category. He and I joke about it every Monday morning when she comes to spend the day with me. He and I threaten to arm wrestle for the right to take her to our favorite local places like the science center and toy HOF. I have a feeling those outings will be shared because her parents aren’t willing to let us fight over them.
 
She’s a magical child with special powers. She nicens up Uncle Trevor, coaxes smiles out of him and makes him do things like use baby talk and buy stuffed animals. No matter how broken I feel, she heals me with a smile and a gurgle. She makes the little things seem big and the big things seem not so huge. She heals family wounds like the ones between her Father’s Father and her Great Uncle. She gives exes common ground and a reason to smile and laugh without past anger and resentments. She is amazing. Such a tiny little thing yet such a huge part of our lives.
 
This Grandma gig isn’t so bad, I can’t remember why I was dreading it. And I’m counting my blessing and my special times with her before it’s time for her life to go on and mine to branch off. She’s an amazing child, I can’t imagine the world without her and we so have a few more firsts to share…it’s almost Easter time after all and then Baby’s First Yankee’s game :)
I know my writing’s rusty, I’ve been away from it for a bit so it’ll take me some time to regain my footing. please bear with me.

March 14, 2009

blocks and brick walls

Filed under: 1 — floormodel @ 10:35pm03
Tags: , , ,

 

 I’ve been in a writing slump. My words dried up and I had no way to find them. It’s a terrible feeling to have no words, to not know how to start them again. Thanks to some new friends at blog-catalog I think I’m ready to try again. I have been afraid to sit here and try to write, afraid of failure, afraid of never getting my words back again.

 

 

 

I asked my new friends to give me advice and they gave me some good stuff to start from: looking at photos, reading something new, updating old blog entries, all good ideas. But one idea sparked my interest and made me think. I’m not sure he intended it to be a real idea but it got my hamster (named Brian) running a little.

 

Memories of childhood. Not the ones I’ve already written about, memories of my mother’s cooking. I’m not sure how my brother and I made it to adulthood. My mother did her best to take us out with just about every meal she served. Undercooked chicken that set everyone but me to the hospital while we were camping in Colorado.  Casseroles involving spinach, bleu cheese, and ham mixed with cream of mushroom soup. Meatloaf consisting of ground meat, oatmeal, and ketchup on top, JELLO concoctions, ex: one involving kidney beans… that made a hangover worse than it needed to be. My mother invented some doozies. Her meals were the stuff of neighborhood legend. Other children compared their mealtime experiences to see who got the best worst meal from my mother’s kitchen. I think my father started getting jealous because he took over in the summer.

The man could over or under grill anything. His crowning moment was when he grilled pork chops and served them as mostly char with no visible meat showing when you cut into it. That takes some kind of talent. 

I know the Fitzmorris boys enjoyed their weekends at the lake with us. My parents cooking was grist for conversation even up until a few years ago. I bet if I called Mr or Mrs Fitzy today we’d end up laughing over old stories of meals their boys survived.

 

When I was a child I was embarrassed by it all, now I’m older, wiser, and much more amused. The fact that they are in Florida and I’m in New York probably plays into it just a little too.  My sons suggested that forcing them to eat at Grandma’s was the equivalent of child abuse but I remind them that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger so they should thank me.  We laugh about it now, it’s part of our memories and now that we no longer sup on toxic waste (mixed with JELLO of course) it doesn’t seem so bad.  When I was thinking about this last night it made me get off my lazy tush and dig through a box I’d just packed. I have that JELLO cookbook and I’m thinking it might be fun to close my eyes and pick a page and scare my boys a little. I’m not sure why my brother and I survived our childhood but it sure is fun remembering how we did.

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